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If you’re still struggling to get that first date, then you’re better choosing lower-risk, lower-investment approaches like meeting people through your social circle.Just remember: being well-calibrated and socially successful doesn’t mean that you’re guaranteed success; everybody has off days and some people will just no matter what.

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In the case of Ben Schoen’s attempt at wooing of Grace Spelman, he assumed a far greater level of intimacy than actually existed; the only contact they had was that she friended him on Facebook when she was fourteen.

For nine years, they had contact; they never interacted on Facebook or Twitter until he tweeted at her out of the blue.

It’s going to be an inexact process at best; it’s not as though grinding in bars gives you 120 XP per hour that culminates with your hitting the cap as a level 80 Pick-Up Artist.

As a general rule, the more successes you have – getting working phone numbers, first dates, second dates – the more risks you can reasonably take.

The almost obsequious fawning in the message on Facebook makes it even more clear that this isn’t going to go anywhere good; sucking up isn’t a good look on .