That’s the gift from your ex – the clarity of knowing what you want and need from a relationship! Attracting love, or giving your heart to someone is not easy. I asked her to lunch and the relationship took off. She then told me that there was an ex-boyfriend she still had issues with. We continued on and about three weeks later she told me she was returning to him. It’s extremely complicated because I met him a day after my 17th birthday, he had just gotten out of jail. He started to talk to another girl (he was known for being a man whore before meeting me). This friend is a terrible influence on him and I have never liked him.But, if you are to have a healthy, loving, fulfilling relationship, you must find a way to let go completely and cleanly, so that your ex is a part of your history, but is no longer a wound in your heart. (he is not a bad guy, he has had a rough life due to his parents adopting him, kicking him out when he was 16, and never being there for him for any reason.) I ended up getting pregnant with his baby and due to complications I lost it. I ended up packing his things up over the next few days and took them to him.I came to drop his stuf off that last say and she was there. The last day I was at home, I ended up meeting up with him and telling him I was leaving. Days following my move, I would get angry texts from him followed by him telling me he doest want yo live without me.
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Sometimes she was wonderful and sometimes she was horrible. His bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. This again is a difficult step, in that when you have fond memories of someone or perhaps a painful breakup that you have a hard time making sense of, it’s very hard to not revisit these memories again and again.
Since the bad side was a part of the package and could not be changed, the whole package has to be let go off. You go back to them for comfort or in hopes of understanding what happened. Mine that relationship for what you want in your current or future relationship.
Think about, even list, all of the qualities that you loved about your ex. On the day that it was a year since we lost the baby, he was extremely intoxicated and under the influence. He was extremely upset at himself for doing this and took himself to rehab that same day.
Add to the list the activities the two of you did that made you feel satisfied. He moved into an apartment with two friends that were extremely bad influences. A few months later we ended up working things out and moving in together. But then came the beginning of the summer and things got horrible.
But to let go of someone who is well and alive and possibly still loves you is an incredible task.