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So, here’s what I learned from this whole experience.1) Fantasies don’t always play out well.Sometimes leaving those great memories untouched make them more valuable.

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He said I should come out and visit the campus and have lunch with him. I still had to check on him via his Facebook page and see what was going on in his life without me in it (even though I hadn’t been in it for 35 years) Did he love his wife? What has the online revolution done to us baby boomers?

It used to be that we would only see our ex-boyfriends at class reunions, with our husbands safely in tow.

No one got hurt, nothing was acted upon and I moved through it realizing just how lucky I am to have a man who loves me, two daughters who depend on me, and, most importantly, the good sense to realize I was being tested in some odd way. I shut the door on years that cannot be taken back, decisions that cannot be changed and quietly thank him for telling me to take care of myself.

The following article originally appeared in the Sept./Oct., 2002 issue of Family Therapy Magazine, published by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and is reprinted with their permission.

Sex is the most frequently searched topic on the Internet (Freeman-Longo and Blanchard, 1998).